Saturday, May 1, 2010

Broken love and the human condition.

Lately i have been hearing nothing but sad stories about the damaging effects of love on the human condition. A friend of mine is completely broken after being destroyed by love and it makes me wonder how something that can be so pure and incredible can also be so devastating. My position on love is unclear, as someone who has never really experienced the emotion i can not be to sure of where i stand. All i can say is that i have seen what it can do to people. While some find happiness in the comfort of another person, others live in life long misery consumed with the potency of being a slave to your own heart. Then there's distinguishing love from infactuation, and believe me i know about infactuation.

I have my parents to blame for my tainted image of love. When i was sixteen they were divorced. After 22 years of marriage just like that it was over. I remember looking around at my friends, as their parents marriages disentegrated i thought to myself how lucky i was that i had parents who truely loved each other and i would never have to face a broken family. But then one day i cam home and everything changed. My mum left, my Dad was heartbroken and devastated blaming himself for everything that went wrong. Shutting himself away for hours on end, it was hard to see my Dad, someone usually so brave, destroyed in seconds. This is one image that will never escape me. I think about the heart break, is it all worth it? I have only been in one serious relationship that lasted two and a half years and while i can say i loved this person i know i was not in love with them. I don't even know if that makes sense to you, but to me there is a difference. I have been told that this will change, 'when you meet the 'one'', but i don't know. I think i have some pretty whacked up ideas now that will be hard to shake off.
I was thinking about the songs that spell out my feelings on love and relationships.
Stuff and Nonsense- Belinda Carlisle
Still in love- Nick Cave
White Flag- Dido
No One's Gonna Love You-Band of Brothers
The Girl-City and Colour
Anyone else but you- The Moldy Peaches
I will possess your heart-Death Cab For Cutie
So Real-Jeff Buckley
Closer-Kings Of Leon
Plug in baby- Muse
Love Gone.
 Storms-Fleetwood Mac
Hero-Regina Spektor
Crown of Love- Arcade Fire
Warning Sign- Coldplay
Say Hello, Wave Goodbye- David Gray
Title and Registration- Death Cab For Cutie
Mr Brightside-The Killers
Love is a game- The Magic Numbers

If you have time i recommend listening to any of these songs.


  1. I understand you completely!!!….♥My parents have been married for 32 years and well I don’t see a divorce coming anytime soon they are a bit old and they get along splendid!!! And am so happy for them and I love them!♥

    But I have many friends that talk about love like if it was some sort of death pill, they go on ranting about how horrible they feel and saying if they could make it all go away they would!!…I don’t understand what about all this great romantic movies like ‘Notebook’ and ‘Pride &Prejudice’ and sooo many more, I think they just mess with our heads that’s what am thinking.
    I haven’t really experience love so I have no strong advice in he matter but what I don think is that LOVE DOES exist and it will happen to us one day the problem is how do we keep the fire going on?

  2. Well, I used to be entirely pessimistic about love. love is a funny thing. But.. I think there is one thing that stay constant. For me, knowing that I was capable of love (and letting someone love me to) came from my heart being broken from losing my Mum. I think the biggest thing we can learn from losing love is out capability to give love. Whether some person has broken you heart, or whether your parental unit affected your idea of marriage (which trust me, my parents marriage was darn right awful at times), we can give love. And the best song for that? "love is something if you give it will come right back to you" <3

  3. My parents never divorced, but I can imagine how much it hurt you. :( I'm really sorry that had to happen to you.
    I was with a guy for 2 and a half years and he cheated on (later i found out it was numerous times). It amazed me how love can make you feel so incredible one day and put you in so much pain the next day. But, its one of those things everyone has to take chances on you know?
    And I definently know what you mean. Theres a big difference between loving somebody and being in love.



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